La Tour des Couilles
The lattice is not only romance—it is a municipal night-light that also drops men by the sack. Measure the baguette (your cock), lock the full-climb harness, climb cage or stairs, step off the open drop face. Full weight on the bag stamps. Light hang is a tourist move.
Desk jokes, printed small: The baguette is not for eating. Petit still drops. Monument is length. Stamp is weight.
Stick. Present. Tier. Ring, cradle under, shaft strap, green. Feet off—weight on the bag. Light hang does not print.
Five stations: desk · harness · climb · drop · stamp. Full bag prints. Light hang does not.
La Tour des Couilles · step 1/5
Baguette desk
The clerk does not look at your face first. He looks at the measuring board: Petit, Classique, Monument. Your cock sets the tier—root to tip, hard preferred; soft gets a second pass and a deadpan note. The stick they hand you matches length: short bread wood, mid, or long. Comedy shape. Serious reading.
House line: when they ask which baguette, they mean the one under the belt. Tier is length, not bravery. A Petit man who full-hangs beats a Monument man who soft-hangs. Desk: “Present. Hard if you can. Stick will find you.” No home rulers. No “just for the photo.”